Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011: A Year in Review


These are some of the highlights. 

Deep, deep crying jags.
They’ve been infrequent, but I’m learning how to allow myself to cry when the need to emote presents itself. I’m learning to access and allow my emotions.


Hike up to Mt. Mitchell
A hike up the Black Crest Trail to Mt. Mitchell, the highest point in the eastern U.S. 

Backpacking Trips!
I went backpacking in the Smokies twice and the Grayson Highlands. I hiked all around the Appalachian Trail in Virginia, Tennessee, and North Carolina, too.


Getting beyond the heartache of the late 2010 breakup with Trevor and knowing it’s all for the best.

Reading and doing the work of Calling in the One with my book club friends Julie and Jen. 


Plus, discovering Marianne Williamson’s A Woman’s Worth and Geneen Roth's Women Food & God. 

The Groove Method certification in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and my return to Harrisonburg over my birthday weekend to lead one of my first Groove classes for The Summit, the nation’s first women’s hiking and backpacking conference. 


Groove and dance, in general!

Women’s Drum & Dance Weekend in Asheville!


Presentation at UNCA on Hiking Through History

Lots of rewarding long runs and good races!


            My favorites:
  • Greer ½ marathon
  • Cooper River Bridge Run
  • and the 15K in DC in early Dec.

ATC Family program research, manual, and training

The series of yoga classes I got at Lighten Up through Groupon.

20 Push-ups daily (well, for a while anyway)

New music

Friendships with Sylvia, Audra, Amanda, Marge, Elizabeth, Marcus, Ian, Tracy, Jo, Andrea, and distant friends who I talk to as if no time has passed at all.

Hikes with my niece & nephew
For a while we took hikes every other Wednesday. 


Getting dressed up and feeling beautiful.

Feeling healthy.

The excitement of dates!

Halloween costuming!

Photo shoot with Marge & Fred
I realized I really can get my photo made without blinking. Tip: say "crazy eyes" before you snap the photo. 

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Standing on the Edge



I’m standing in my own way now. Blocking the thoughts that are in me. Standing in the way of free formed thought, luscious flowing words from my fingers. Standing on and squashing heart-felt ideas on freedom, beauty, bodies, love. Here I stand
Stand on it all
Stand atop,
Pounce
Jump
Bounce
Stuff it in. Cram it in the already too small container.
Contain all that can’t be contained
I say “no more! Let me out”
Let me scream out goodness.
Let me yell my “O”
Let me hollar till they hear me on distant seas. 
Let me say “Oh, Yes” and “My greatness” this and “My greatness” that
Let me pronounce the words of holiness within myself.
Let me call in to myself the power to let myself live fully.
Embolden fearless movement
Embrace the what if’s and
How would it feel, if
And what in the world is going on in there anyway?, but only long enough to notice
Then, a forgetting, a letting go, a lack of specific focus on who might care
Or what someone might think, because do you know what?
I’ve cared for far too long about what people think. I’ve cared far too much about muffling my words, my heart, my song, and my spirit for the consideration of others – that they might be uncomfortable by it. That it might be too much for them. That they might get too much and turn away.
I quieted it.
No longer.
Live without restriction.
Life in borders and unbound creativity
Fluidity in motion
Grace
Power
Beauty
Softness
Kindness to myself
And the offering of permission to others to do unto themselves
With kind eyes,
Gentle touch
Sweet words “I love you”
I love you
I love you
You’re the world to me. You are goodness
Love
Hope
Beauty
Joy
This world embodied in this frame.
Cannot be wrong
This world in this breath is enough
Enough for words to step out of me

Here, when we stand on the edge of our comfort, we can let go of needing to control, needing to be right, fearing what others might think. We can come into our largeness.

Here, when we dance on the edge of our beings, we reach something greater – a letting go, a giving in, a softness to ourselves/the movement/the mind.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Groove News

I have been offering Groove with Leanna classes in Asheville since July of this year. Here's a look at past Asheville Groove Newsletters:



You can sign up to receive the Asheville Groove Newsletter in your email using the link below. I generally send it out about once per month. Subscribe to our newsletter

Other updates about Groove, health, and upcoming events can be found at www.facebook.com/ashevillegroove. Like the page to stay up-to-date.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The "Yes" Experience

I’ve been thinking about the wisdom of saying “yes” in life. In accepting invitations to new experiences or activities, we enrich ourselves.  We cultivate shared memories with friends. We stretch what we know or what we think we know by trying new things. We step out of what is comfortable sometimes to simply place trust in ourselves, in the activity, in the experience.


I spent the last week saying yes. I said yes to playing disc golf though I still have so much to learn. I said yes to a spur-of-the-moment backpacking trip. I said yes to climbing a rickety fire tower in high winds to watch the sun rise. I said yes to dinner with friends. Each of these opportunities opened me in new and different ways.


I see how Groove can parallel this lesson. By giving participants the basic movement then asking them to consider other possibilities, they get the chance to say “yes” in deciding if they want to move their bodies in a certain way. While you always have the option to abstain from a creative alternative, what happens if you just say "yes"?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Jean Jacket: A Reflection on Adolescence


Unkempt hair cut by my mother.
A dark jean jacket I felt lucky to have received
After all, I had wanted one for Christmas.
But not like this. Not dark blue.
Not like the sky on a night with no moon and no stars.
I wanted stone-washed, pale
bleached, almost white.
I rubbed it on the brick hearth to create the stone washed look
but it didn’t help, so it stayed
hidden in my closet – a gift
I wanted to be thankful for but felt
too ashamed to wear.

(This was a brief exercise as part of the mentor training for the Climbing Toward Confidence program. The facilitator read a passage from My Sisters’ Voices: Teenage Girls of Color Speak Out and asked us to reflect on our own adolescence.)

What's your story of adolescence? 

Monday, August 29, 2011

Just Do It

I am reading and writing from Natalie Goldberg’s book Wild Mind. It’s the “just do it” approach. Just jump in. Just go for it. Just Live! Just say yes. Just concede. Just embrace. Just surrender. Just accept that what comes from the inkwell of this hard plastic pen is precisely what is supposed to come. Just believe you are right and perfect. Just believe for these few minutes that your words have value and purpose. Just trust your inner knowing. Trust the mind. Trust the wild paths of words our writing can take us on, the same way our minds wander on a run. Don’t stop moving. Don’t give up. Applied to so much in life, it’s the “just experience” model that might just work. It’s how we adapt to our surroundings.

(I melt from the sofa to the floor and drape myself over the coffee table. Torso now resting on the round glass top, arms heavy and supported, head nests in a cradle of my left arm, my right hand moves nimbly now on lined paper.)

How do you tweak your form when running? How do you lift your heel? How do you time your breath? How do you say “I’ll take this as it comes?” How do you stop criticizing and let it flow in a way that is without what’s “right” but is loving, forgiving, and sweet to the core?

It’s the “just dance” philosophy, too. Just let yourself find how you want to move to the music right now. Just let go of mental constraints that define good and bad, or what is appropriate. Let go the needing to be right.

Writing practice, without judgment, without my editor, gets around the contrived. Writing practice, like meditation, will release me to a place of authenticity. It says “heya, just go with the flow. Just try.”

Monday, August 1, 2011

Helping Women Believe They Can Dream



It's just days following news of Jennifer Pharr Davis' speed hike of the Appalachian Trail - breaking both the men's and women's world record. She covered the 2,180-mile distance in 46 days and 11 hours.

It's an impressive feat. I'm awed by this woman's determination in fulfillment of her dreams.


It was just weeks after she started out on her journey that I attended a conference exclusively for women about hiking and backpacking. The Summit was a first-of-its-kind event meant to invoke inspiration and confidence in women to undertake their big dreams, especially in the outdoors. The event offered the expected workshops related to nutrition, gear and trails, but it also offered an unexpected and refreshing twist – nature appreciation and taking it slow.


I attended a session focused on nature appreciation and spiritual connection in which the presenter encouraged all of us to “saunter reverently,” a message I have really taken to heart.



I spoke with the Anna Huthmaker the event organizer and founder of Trail Dames, a hiking club for women of a curvy nature, to learn more about her vision for women as hikers and why taking it slow fosters dreams as much breaking records.


Wow, so it’s a big deal that The Summit is going to be in Colorado next year.

Virginia worked out so why not Colorado? There are lots of women hikers out there. We have ten chapters already, and I’m talking to someone in Seattle and someone in California [about starting chapters there].


I don’t want The Summit to be for just Trail Dames. I want it to be for all women. There are a lot of women out there who don’t identify as Dames. Trail Dames is the host.


At the end of the summit you asked what attendees find when they are on a trail in the woods – what it gives them. What does being on a trail do for you?

Being on a trail allows me to be the kind of women I want to be. I wanted to be a woman who does these kinds of things. So every time I’m on a trail I’m closer to being that woman.


Is that what influenced you to start this organization?

Not really. I don’t know why I started it. I know when the idea was formed. I was on the A.T. and this other hiker said I really really belonged. It hit home, this idea that if I belong – so does any other kind of woman. I don’t mind being the poster girl for the non-traditional type hiker I will bring others with me.


There’s an emphasis on the Trail Dames website and at the conference on taking it slow. What accounts for that?

There were two things that hit me when I started encouraging women to hike. Historically they tended to hike with their husbands. Those hikes tended to be goal oriented. I wanted to encourage them to relax and not [feel that they] have to race through it. The second thing is that I want them to enjoy what they are doing. I don’t want them stressed out about being fast enough and good enough. A lot of that was my own baggage, but it fit with other women. Then they can find their own pace. It might turn out to be fast, but they arrive at it naturally – rather than forcing it.


Can you talk a little bit about the support and community of the Dames?

That is what women do best. We are caretakers. When someone next to us bursts out crying in frustration, we care for them. If we take a woman who is unsure, nervous, not sure she can [hike], or [doubts] that she belongs there then you surround her by women who encourage her that she can. It instantly creates this bond that is deep and profound.


At the conference – I made this joke about [singing] Kumbaya, but we could have. We support each other, and people are brave enough to share their dreams with other women. We tend to want to stand up and help each other.


I want to clarify something. I love men. I love everything about them. In no way am I trying to disparage them or keep them away from us. For three years I did bring your man hikes. They didn’t go over so well, so then I hosted “bring Anna a man” hikes.


How would you characterize your hike leadership style?

On a trail, I’m at the back. My biggest goal is that no woman feels like she’s too slow or holding anyone back. [As hike leader] I give out directions; I realize we’re all adults.


Why do you do that?

Because that’s what I felt when I first started hiking. That’s the worst feeling in the world if you’re already overweight and feeling like you don’t belong out there. So it’s meant to prevent that.


In the back we laugh the most. That’s where the best stories happen. The woman at the back is achieving the most when she’s climbing the mountain. The one in the very back who is older or less fit, when she reaches the top, that’s when the real magic happens. I love the feeling like I helped that happened.


What do you hope women who attended The Summit gained from the experience?

I hope they gained the belief that they can really dream big and go for it. There’s nothing in the world you can’t do – if you want to hike the Inca trail, hike the Grand Canyon, go to New Zealand, it’s really just a plane ticket, and a believe ‘I think I can do that.’


If I can make them believe that they belong on the trail. If The Summit can help them believe that they belong on the trail


At the conference at one point you said women are taking over the trails of the U.S. Can you talk more about that?

When I said women are taking over the trails of this country I meant that as empowering statement. As far as I’m concerned, my experience is 100% true.


I’m just trying to make other women to feel proud to be out there. I want them to remember that they’ve accomplished something. It’s a big deal to get out there and climb that mountain. [I want to] promote sense of community, a sense of purpose.


Can you talk a little bit about the awards from The Summit?

That for me was a function of looking toward the future. For the Spirit of the Trail Dames I wanted different chapters to have the opportunity to recognize people. The idea is that the national award will become more coveted. I wanted there to be weight to the event, an importance to it. I don’t want it to be just a bunch of people at a campground.


The Spirit of the Dames award is the chance to recognize someone who never gets recognition. I get recognition, hike leaders get recognition, head dames get recognition. It’s for regular folks.


Before I started throwing out “we’re the only hiking conference for women” I did a lot of research. [I wanted the national awards to] showcase women in excellence in the outdoors. It needs to be celebrated. It really does. What I’m hoping that we get more and more nominations – even among people I’m not aware of. They deserve that recognition and to raise awareness.


What, in your mind, is the mainstream perception about the culture of hiking?

The first thing you think of is someone who is really fit. We think of granola types who are very comfortable in the outdoors. When I started hiking all the books I read and most of what I did was Appalachian Trail based so the community was fairly extreme. I was hanging out with people who did long distance hiking so that became my idea of the norm. I don’t think that’s an impression among other non-hikers. Most other women I run into don’t know A.T. People do assume you have to be fit.


When I ask what are they worried about people talk about needing the right gear or needing to already be fit. You don’t have to be that way to hike. Hiking is just walking on the dirt.


How is Trail Dames challenging this? How does Trail Dames fit into the culture of hiking?

Hikers don’t put such narrow definitions on hiking. People accept everyone else. We put our own limitations on it. People who are out there all the time, I don’t think they care who else is there as long as you’re being respectful.


Here’s the cool thing. Look at you, an extremely experienced A.T. and PCT hiker. The only difference between you and some Dames is that at some point you believed you can do it, and you went out and did it.


I’m trying to take women and say you can do that if you want - inspiring the confidence. A lot of women who come to Trail Dames [hiking] it’s never occurred to them. They’ve got great lives and hiking never occurred to them. It’s putting the option of having a goal of hiking in front of them. Big girls never believe they can do this.


It’s kind of waking up their mind to the idea “ hey, come try this.” They blossom trail wise. They were blossoming otherwise it their lives, too. We just opened the door to this one aspect for them.


They’re identifying as Trail Dames. They’re identifying as this thing.


Let’s talk numbers. How many members and how many chapters do you have?

Nationally there are about 2000. There are seven chapters are on the website – three that started a few weeks ago. Four more made commitments on the week of The Summit.


Technically we have 14 chapters, but ten for sure are hiking. We’re getting ready to have Ohio, Maine, and second Virginia Chapter, in Charlottesville.


Is Trail Dames a bridge for members to other things?

It will depend on the members. When I talk about people coming for a season –it’s a bridge to another part of their life. We have people who join us then become more serious hikers. They leave to more extensive hiking. They go on to riding horses, kayaking, or writing a book. It depends on the member. If it’s a bridge –that’s great too.


Is there anything I haven’t asked?

It’s helping women believe they can dream. Women are identifying as Trail Dames. To me it’s really important to truly give women on the fringes an opportunity. I want to make sure it’s still accessible to everyone – 300 lbs, 70 or blind. There is nothing else accessible for them. Whether they fit my definition of Trail Dame or not, they’ve all come. As long as it doesn’t push out unfit women. It really is for all women.


What are the distances for Trail Dames hikes?

We have a regular Trail Dames hikes that are 3.5 to 5 miles long. Those are very poplar. We have dynamic hikes beyond that can be 10 miles long. They can be strenuous. We offer both equally so there’s a place for everyone. I’ve asked the other chapters to stay in those parameters. Anyone can do 3.5 miles even if I have to hold her hand, even if it takes 4.5 hours.